A Night at the Museum: Explorer Style Script!

Here are the lines to our play, in case your paper copy isn't right with you!
PLEASE STUDY UNTIL MEMORIZATION!!!!


A Night at the Museum: Explorer Style

(All the characters are onstage in “dioramas”, frozen pictures, except the 2 Museum people. The Vikings are all in one group, the explorers from France are in one group, the explorers who are from Spain are in one group, The Italians are in one group, the Chinese are in one group, the First Nations people are in one group, but spread out. Each group has a big sign of their country and the room is divided into Europe, Asia, and the Americas. The map maker is frozen making a map, and Henry Hudson is with him, frozen looking at a map.)

(One of the MPs is looking around with a flashlight. Gets tapped, keeps weaving around and getting tapped. This is from what team 3 came up with! Then, turns and sees Hudson yell)

Hudson: Land Ho!

(Museum Person faints. Other Museum Person comes in and wakes them up)

Kachina/Museum Person 1: This is a very cool museum exhibit! How did you ever think of it?

Askook/Museum Person 2: Thanks! I got this idea because I used love studying explorers!

KACHINA/MP1:It’s really cool how you put everyone together by where they were from in the world.

ASKOOK/M2: Yeah, I don’t know. So many of the explorers from Europe were FROM one country but EXPLORED for another, like Columbus, who was Italian but sailed for Spain.

KACHINA/M1: Yeah, and Henry Hudson over there. How did an Englishman end up working for the Dutch? Anyways, I also felt weird about having the First People all together. I mean, so many different groups of people already lived in the Americas when the Europeans came. You know, like us, the Seneca and Cayuga.

ASKOOK/M2: Okay, so let’s move them into groups about WHY they sailed. Let’s put “Find a path to China and the Indies” over there, and “To create a settlement” over there. (Goes over and starts separating the French)

KACHINA/M1: Ready for my joke? Why did the explorer cross the ocean?

ASKOOK/M2: I don’t know.

KACHINA/M1: To get to the other side!! HAHAHAHAhahah (A couple of statues move)

ASKOOK/M2: You are so unbelievably not funny. Can we get to work here? (A couple of statues move)

KACHINA/M1: Sure. What do we do with Zheng He? I mean, he WAS looking for new trade routes, but he was coming FROM China. (Gets tapped on the shoulder) Stop it!

ASKOOK/M2: I didn’t do anything! Here, move those Vikings into “Create a settlement”. (Gets tapped) Now YOU stop.

KACHINA/M1: Stop what?

(They catch the statues moving and freak. All the statues come to life)

Henry the Navigator: (pointing) Look Christopher! Now there won’t be a mutiny! We won’t be forced to turn back!

Columbus: Land! I have discovered LAND!

Henry the Navigator: Well, technically I am the navigator……

Columbus: This must be the INDIES!!! I have found it! King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella will be so happy. They will get rich!

Ferd and Isabella: YAY!!!

Columbus: And since I am in India, all of you people must be INDIANS!

Bahamain Native: Indian? What are you talking about? I’m Lucayan.

Columbus: No, you must be Indians, because this is the INDIES, and I have found it!!!

Martin: Actually, if you look at my map, you can see that India is in a completely different part of the world. You, Mr. Columbus, are in the Bahamas.

Bahamian: Plus, you SO did not discover me. I was already HERE.

Columbus: (Fingers in his ears) Lalala I am not listening to you fourteen hundred and ninety two……

Champlain: (Asking Henry the Navigator) Is he always like this?

Martin: Seriously, Columbus? You are in the Americas. But you didn’t even land on a continent. I didn’t name anything after you, and my map is the first one to even show the Americas.

All but Native People, Martin, Zheng He and Tobey: It’s the Indies!

Martin: No, it isn’t! Come look at my map! (Everyone comes over to look.)

John Cabot: Look, Amerigo! (pretending to wipe away a tear of joy) I’m so proud! There’s our discovery!

John Cabot and Amerigo Vespucci: We found the Americas!

John Cabot: First in North America!

Amerigo Vespucci: First in South America!

John and Amerigo: 1497, baby!

Zheng He and his captain: Hello, people! 1421, yup we beat you.

Vikings: Excuse us? No. WE found the Americas.

Thorvald: 500 years before any of you! Vikings went first to Iceland, then Greenland, then Vinland, I mean, North America!

Thorfin: You can even still visit where our town was and see stuff.

Vikings: Vikings RULE.

First Nations people: We found the Americas, because we were already HERE.

Cheveo/Floridian Native: How do you think you guys were able to get anywhere? Once you got off your boats, you only survived and were able to make maps because we helped you.

Martin: Speaking of maps, come see mine! It’s 1507 and North and South America don’t really exist in the minds of people who don’t already live there. There IS no America yet for the rest of us, until I put it on the map and named them after YOU, Amerigo!

Everyone else: Okay. Let’s look. (They all come over. There is a loud sound from JAN! All kids go “Whoa” and twirl safely! It’s the vortex! Let’s write the next lines, about what happened)

Bailey the Navigator: Hey! Where’s Martin’s map?

Ferdinand: It appears to have disappeared!

Freydis: What in the world happened?!?

Zheng He: That was a vortex! Because the first map to show the Americas was stolen, we’ve all now been whooshed to the past and every map has NO North America or South America on it!

Zheng He’s Captain: That means the Americas No Longer Exist!!!!!

All: GASP!

Ferdinand: How does he know it was a vortex?

Zheng He’s Captain: He just knows.

Cartier and Bailey his navigator and Champlain: Without North America on the map, we won’t be able to pick up where you guys left off and explore inland!

Cartier and Bailey the Navigator: How can we name Canada if there’s no North America?

Champlain: How can I name a lake after myself, Lake Champlain? How can I help found some Canadian cities with my friends the Hochelaga and the Haudensaunee if there’s no North America?

Henry Hudson: How can I keep trying to find a way to Asia by water across the top of Canada if there’s no North America?

Dom Agaya(Hochelaga Person): Um, Henry Hudson? There IS no water way to Asia across Canada.

Hudson: Oh. Maybe that’s why they kicked me off my own boat. Well, Can I have a River named after me then?

All but Hudson: Not if there’s no North America!

Hudson: Right.

Cartier and Bailey the Navigator: But if the Americas have been wiped off the map, there’s no Caroline Elementary School, either!!!!

All (looking at audience): Whoooaaaa.

(Next part has some people finding clues, and each clue connects to a different group.)

Verrazano: Let’s look for clues!

(First: A Spanish gold piece is found as a clue, so everyone suspects the Spanish and we learn some stuff, including about Ponce de Leon. Write ideas/lines here:

Sam Champlain: Look! It’s a Spanish coin! The Spanish explorers must have done this!

Thorvald: That makes sense. They might have stolen the map to rename North America “New Spain” or something like that, and say it belonged to them!

Cheveo (Native Floridian) Person: It’s true that many Spanish conquistadors took over the people they met.

Henry the Navigator: It’s also true that King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella like gold and riches. A LOT.

King Ferdinand: Of course we do! We ARE the King and Queen, you know.

Queen Isabella: Being richer than everybody else is part of the job description.

Verrazano: And maybe you didn’t want anyone else finding out how to get to the Bahamas!

Cartier: And it wasn’t us French. It’s true we were also trying to find a quicker way to Asia, but we at least built the settlements WITH the people who lived there and didn’t just send all the riches home to a King and Queen.

King and Queen: Well we didn’t steal the map.

Leif: Who else would have a Spanish coin?

Columbus: I MIGHT have some coins, but so did Ponce de Leon, who sailed with me on my voyages!

All: GASP!

Ponce: Why me? You are always against me. I moved to an island, named it Puerto Rico, and became governor (eye rolls from everyone)! And then YOU (points to Columbus, King and Queen) kicked me out and replaced me with HIS son! (points to Columbus)

All: GASP!

Ponce: I was forced to drown my sorrows by discovering and naming Florida. So there.

Cheveo (Native Floridian): He’s annoying, but he is telling the truth. He was ADDING things to maps by naming them, like Florida and Puerto Rico—he wouldn’t have stolen the map and made North America disappear!

Second: Ponce de Leon finds another clue: jewelry with round symbols on them. We learn about Vikings. Write ideas here:

Ponce de Leon: But here’s another clue—some Viking jewels and Viking designs on this buckle! The Vikings must have STOLEN the Spanish coins AND the map, then accidentally dropped some when they were hiding the map!

Leif: What!? You are accusing US, the original discoverers of North America of stealing a map?

DomAgaya: Ahem!

Leif: I mean, What?!? You are accusing US, the first people to find the people already living here of stealing the map?

Thorfin: Ooooo, that burns my brisket!

Henry the Navigator: Maybe you were jealous you landed in the North and not in the Bahamas. The weather is so much better where we landed!

Freydis: Oh, brother.

Thorvald: Why would we steal a map? We were SO much earlier than you guys!

Thorfin: By like 500 years. Ahhh, the good life……

Amerigo: But you didn’t tell any of us, did you? We had to figure it out for ourselves.

Leif: You didn’t ask.

Zheng He: They didn’t ask me, either.

Zheng He’s Captain: I bet they never thought to ask us CHINESE the quickest way to China!

Amerigo: I see your point. Well, SOMEONE must have stolen some things from your settlement or from one of your ships….

Dom Agaya: AND stolen something from one of the Spanish ships….

Kachina and Askook (They look at each other): Oh, no. We have a serious thief on our hands!

Thorfin: Someone who knows about ships and their traveling routes.

John Cabot: Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to go up against a strong country.

Vikings: We are great warriors!

King and Queen: And we imprison people!

Amerigo: I have a sneaking suspicion I know who it is. Someone who would want a map, but wouldn’t want anyone else to have it! Are there any more clues?

(Third: They all look. Verrazano discovers a piece of paper with markings on it—Martin figures out it’s a treasure map!!!!!! Write lines here)

Verrazano: Here’s another clue! I found a piece of paper with some strange markings on it.

Martin: Wait, I know what that is! It’s a treasure map! That can only mean one thing---it’s the Dread Pirate!!!!

All: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Not the Dread Pirate!!!

(Ms. Coffey comes out as the Dread Pirate)

Dread Pirate: Arrgghhh!! Yep, I stole the map and everything else, and you’ll never find it!

Thorvald: But why?

Verrazano: Yeah, why did you steal it?

Dread Pirate: Because! Like most great pirates of the Exploration Age, I hide my treasure on the small islands off the coast of the Americas! If there’s NO Map and NO AMERICAS, no one but me will ever find the treasure! BWAHAHAHA!

All but Zheng He and his Captain : Oh no! What will we do?

Zheng He’s Captain: We know!

All but Zheng He: What?

Zheng He: Their museum has been using modern technology to preserve old books and maps.

Ferdinand: How come he always knows these things?

Freydis: Let me see. (Laptop appears—holly hands it to her from offstage) Wow!! You scanned Martin’s map into the computer last week!

All: So there’s an online copy EVERYONE can see!

Dread Pirate: (smacks head) Doh! (sighs) I guess I’ll give the map back.

All: YAY!

Thorfin: Hey! It’s almost morning!

Bahamian: We should get back to our spots, before we become statues again.

Freydis: It was nice meeting you all—let’s have a party tomorrow night!

All: Yay! (They go back to their spots) Good night, good night! (All freeze)

Kachina and Askook: Just another night on the job. Good night! (Wave and exit)

SONG