Metricstein: The Play!

(A group of mad scientists gather in front of a table.)
Austin: We are Scientists!
Grace: But we are MAD
All: Mad Scientists! Bwaaaaaa-ha-ha-ha!
Alanna: What are we mad about?
Sophie: We’re mad because we are not the smartest in the world.
All: Grrrrrr.
Celia: We want to be the smartest of all scientists.
All: Yeah! The Smartest!!
Nick: But someone else is smarter.
All: Booooo
Hunter: Albert Einstein.
All: Boo, Albert Einstein.
Tristan: We should have his brain.
All: Yeah!
Sophia: Then we would be the smartest.
All: Yeah!
Xander: I want his brain!!!
All: Yeah! Albert Einstein’s brain!
Cody: So we will build a creature that will go get Albert Einstein’s brain.
All: A creature, Yeah! Albert Einstein’s brain, Yeah!
Nick: We’ll make the creature strong, and fast, and terrible.
All: Bwaaaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha
Sophie: We will sneak up on Al’s castle and the monster will grab his brain and we will come back here and stick it in the monster’s head.
All: Yeah!
Ethan: We have our monster!
Ruth: We accurately measured every part using the metric system.
Scientists snicker and whisper as they reveal:
Jaquan & Grace: Ta-Daaaaa! Metricstein!
Greyson: We rolled up some old towels that belonged to an Olympic runner.
Hunter: We covered them with rubber. (Holds up the legs)
All: Ooooooh
Sophia: We made the feet out of clothes irons and stretched some old socks over them.
Alanna: We found these special shoes that grip really strong.
All: Ooooooh.
Xander: The belly is made of some jello that nobody wanted.
Andrew: We made it super strong and very resilient.
All: Ooooooh.
Tristan: We made the arms from some old used drumsticks.
Jaquan: We covered them with melted crayons.
All: Oooooh.
Nick: The hands are made of nail polish containers.
Cody: We compressed them together with iron and rubber.
All: Oooooh.
Austin: The mouth has shark’s teeth we found on the beach.
Andrew: The cheeks are balloons.
Grace: The eyes are chipped marbles.
Greyson: The ears are shells and melted crayon wax.
All: Ooooooh.
Celia: The heart is made out of old jewelry.
Ruth: We melted jewels and carved a heart. It’s like a red ruby.
All: Ooooh.
Andrew: Next! We will fill it with blood or something liquid to make it alive.
Austin: I’ve got special monster juice.
Nick: What is it?
Ruth: I don’t know we just found it in the back of the refrigerator.
All smell it.
All: Eeeyew. That’s perfect!
Celia: Not too much! The Heart can only pump a volume of 2.4 liters.
Austin: We’ll have to measure the volume of juice in a graduated cylinder.
2 actors become cylinder. A cloth becomes the liquid. All watch the liquid being poured into the cylinder.
Grace: One liter. Twoooo liters.
Ruth: Stop. Be careful. It’s 2.4 liters.
Cody: That means 2 liters plus 400 milliliters.
Andrew: One hundred milliliters, 200 milliliters, 300 milliliters. 400 milliliters.
Ethan: What about the meniscus?
All: Oooooh
Sophie: Look at the liquid. It curves up the sides of the cylinder.
Grace: You have to read the level at the bottom of the curve.
Xander: 2.3 liters.
Jaquan: More!
Pours more.
Hunter: 2.4 liters.
Tristan: Great! Pour it in the monster!
(They pour. Sfx Then they all take a step back and watch expectantly.)
Monster comes alive. Stretches, yawns, sees the scientists
Monster (Ev): AAARGH! Me need brain!
Alanna: Oh yeah. We got it.
Sophia: Let’s go get Einstein’s brain.
All: YAY!!
Tristan: What will we bring it back to the laboratory in?
Sophie: I’ve got a Styrofoam box.
Austin: I’ve got a metal trash can.
Alanna: Which one will keep it warm the longest?
Cody: Let’s pour hot liquid in them and see which one holds the heat longer.
Ruth: I have my stopwatch! I’ll time for one minute.
Greyson: I’ll stick my fingers in and feel it.
Tristan: Nooo. That’s not scientific! You might get burned.
Ruth: Yeah, let’s be accurate. It’s a brain we’re talking about here.
Ethan: Use thermometers.
Sophia: We have 1 liter of liquid for each container
Hunter: Thermometers ready!
Andrew: The liquid starts out at 75 C.
Nick: Thermometers in!
They insert thermometers in the liquids.
Celia: Which side of the thermometer will they read? One side says F the other side says C.
Xander: F is for Fahrenheit. C is for Celsius.
Cody: In science, we use Celsius. It’s all part of the metric system of measurement.
Ruth: Time!
(They compare thermometers.)
Sophie: Ooooh. The Styrofoam definitely retains heat longer.
Grace: Bring the Styrofoam box!
Alanna: Let’s go!
Austin: Come on Metricstein.
Metricstein: Me like walks.
(Metricstein starts out fast heading offstage R.)
All: Hey! wait up! (follow)

(Einstein enters from L)
Einstein (Ben): (to audience) Hello, my name is Albert Einstein. I know you are all here to watch some scientific experiments but I’m afraid there seems to be a little trouble. I can see through my binoculars that a group of Mad Scientists are heading this way. They look pretty crazy. A large monster-like creature is leading them. Oh my. I hope I have enough pretzels and corn chips for everyone. (exits L)

(Scientists and Metricstein enter from R.)
(Several actors take positions on floor as rocks.)
Alanna: Whoa! Look at this river!
Grace: We’ll never get across.
Sophie: We could jump over on those rocks.
Celia: Yes, those rocks are evenly spaced across the water.
Ruth: They look too far apart.
MM: Me can do it. Me can jump far.
Sophia: But our legs are so much shorter than yours.
MM: (pats their heads) Too bad.
Xander: We can measure the length of your step.
Greyson: And we’ll measure the distance between the rocks.
Andrew: I have a metric ruler.
Tristan: I have a metric stick.
Andrew: Ruler!
Tristan: Stick!
Andrew: Ruler!
Tristan: Stick!
Xander: Stop! They are the same thing. Let’s measure the rocks.
They measure.
Andrew: 1.6 meters!
Tristan: 160 centimeters!
Andrew: 1.6 meters!
Tristan: 160 centimeters!
Celia: Stop! Those are equal measurements.
Ethan: There are 100 centimeters in a meter.
Hunter: They stepped one meter plus 60 centimeters.
Greyson: 160 centimeters
Sophie: or…
Grace: 1.6 meters.
Sophie: Now measure the distance of their step.
Alanna: Start here!
Ruth and Sophia take a big step from the beginning point.
Alanna: Measure!
Andrew: 1.5 meters or
Tristan: 150 centimeters.
Andrew: (to Ruth) You step 1.5 meters.
Tristan: (to Sophia) You step 150 centimeters.
MM: It same thing.
Celia, Alanna, Grace, Sophie: JUST JUMP!
Everyone stops bickering quickly and get ready to go.
M: I go first.
He jumps the rocks followed by Ruth and Sophia. All follow. Hunter goes last by leap-frogging. Exit stage L. Rocks look up.
Rocks: Hey wait for us!
(Rocks run after them L.)
Einstein enters DL and sits in a chair. Scientists enter and sneak across from UL to UR They bunch together in UR corner. They signal Metricstein to go get Einstein’s brain. Metricstein advances on Einstein threateningly. Metricstein grabs Einstein’s head. Scientists can barely look.
M: AAARGH! You got nice hair. It soft.
Einstein: Oh thank you. I use an herbal shampoo. I like your hair too.
M: Thank you. It made out of spaghetti with red sauce.
Einstein: Would you like a chip?
M: Thank you. Mm. Good.
Scientists are signaling madly to Metricstein to take Einstein’s head.
Einstein: Who are those people?
M: My parents.
Cody: What are you doing? Get the brain!!
M: Me like him.
Austin: We want to be as smart as Einstein!
Jaquan: We need his brain!
Einstein: But you are plenty smart.
ALL: Huh?
Einstein: You used scientific measurement. You measured the distance between the rocks and the length of their step.
All nod.
Einstein: You measured volume.
M: Blood!
All nod.
Einstein: You measured temperature.
M: (points to Styrofoam box) Brain box!
All nod.
Einstein: You built Metricstein out of recycled materials.
All: That’s true.
M: Me like me! (hugs self)
Einstein: And best of all.
Everyone leans in to hear.
Einstein: …you used Imagination!
All: Imagination!
(All high 5 and shake hands.)
Greyson: Wait a minute! What are we going to use for a brain?
They show the empty box threateningly. Einstein looks at Metricstein.
Einstein: He’s plenty smart. He’s got good genes.
M: Mommies! Daddies!
Einstein: Here! (puts a pie in Styrofoam box)
All: What’s that?
Einstein: It’s the Noble Peas Pie!
All: Yay!
(All sing a fabulous song.)

THE END